There hasn’t been much to write about lately as I really haven’t been running and with that goes not training for anything.

Trying to find my passion for running again after my mother’s death has been hard. Every once in a while I’ll feel a tiny bit of a spark but most of the time I feel nothing. That is what scares me right now. What if I never want to run again? My grief counselor says this is ok and not to beat myself up over it but of course I do.

I ran the Healthy Kidney 10k last week and while it wasn’t a great result I didn’t feel horribly disappointed so that is an improvement. I still haven’t been running during the week but just sticking to my Deep Water Running class that I really enjoy.

Then there is tomorrow. I am running the Brooklyn Half Marathon with very little training. I did a 10 and 12 mile long run leading up to it but they both feel so long ago. So yes, I am running a half marathon tomorrow and my only goal is to finish and not be upset with myself for not training and not having the time that I want. Considering that I’m not at all stressed about it could mean good things.

My other goal is to get more than three hours of sleep tonight. That’s ambitious right there. But who knows. maybe if I can get four hours of sleep I’ll have a better race. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

I did at least plot out my NYC Marathon training plan and do look to keep running. I just need to find that desire right now to get out there.

Hopefully, this weekend will help me get there.