There was a time in my life when running meant everything to me. I absolutely lived and breathed running. It helped me celebrate some really great days, kept things normal on the usual nothing to report here kind of days, and helped me heal on the really bad ones.
When I saw a necklace designed by Erica Sara that said “Every Mile Becomes A Part Of Me” I had to get it because it was so true. I practically stalked her booth at the NYC Half Expo when it debuted.
Then life fell apart. My mother died after a lengthy illness, I suffered a foot injury, and then went into a severe depression that I eventually wrote about. I stopped running with a few attempts to start up here and there but never being fully committed. My heart just wasn’t into it any more. It was also at that time that the clasp on my “Every Mile Becomes A Part Of Me” necklace broke. It was, in a way, telling me that the miles didn’t matter any more.
For an entire year and a half I had no idea what joy and pure happiness felt like. I just couldn’t remember and certainly had no idea how to find it again.
It has been a little over a year when I was at my lowest, writing that post about my depression, that I can confidently say things have and are continuing to turn around. Many areas of my life are feeling more balanced and while other parts are even more in flux than before I no longer feel as though I am the one spiraling out of control.
Finding the balance hasn’t been easy. I’ve isolated myself in many ways and hope that I can restore some of the relationships that I know I damaged during that time. I have taken more time for myself and did a few things that were meant just for me and no one else. It was some of those things, like my swimming class, that gave me some confidence and peace of mind.
After several starts on stops, I can finally say that I am running again. I am sticking to a training plan and feel good about what I am accomplishing. I’m losing weight again and just overall feeling healthier.
Running is something that I need again and feel like I missed out on something special when I am not able to go running. I love the feeling I have after I complete a run. I’m looking forward to the races that I have signed up for and can’t wait to start training for them.
And today, I ordered a new chain for my necklace.