When I was going through the deepest part of my depression last year my therapist kept stressing to me that I needed to step back and appreciate some of the basic things I did as major accomplishments.
As I was running my reps from my training plan yesterday I was thinking that I had accomplished a lot and I was really happy and excited. Yes, this is from a person who has run countless 4 mile races, a whole bunch of 10ks, a few 10 milers, 26 half marathons, and three full marathons. But remember, I had hit my rock bottom as a runner late last year and am now starting over from the very beginning.
What I have learned along the way is to let go of measuring my current self against those past accomplishments and appreciate my steady improvement as I build myself back up again. That is probably the hardest thing to do. But that is what this training plan has given me the opportunity to do and I am forever grateful for that.
So when I was on the middle rep of my training run yesterday I was reminded of the time when I was training for my first marathon. It was time when every long run was a point of celebration, Every 14 mile, 15, 16, 18, and 20 mile distance was new and a huge sense of pride in completing that long run.
In the following years marathon training became more about beating my previous time and not so much on cherishing the little victories along the way. That is how running was becoming for me, just logging the miles and appreciating them.
That really changed for me yesterday. Yes, I’ve logged many miles and distances but after not being able to run, not wanting to be able to run, and having a hard time getting back on track I finally feel as though I’m making progress.
I was so happy after my run and that I hit a wonderful new milestone in my training. I loved that I was sweating, I loved how my lungs and legs felt. I walked away with a smile and yeah, I celebrated that little victory yesterday and can’t wait to celebrate some more.